Midwest Frumpy at the Football Game

There's a phenomenon, no, ingrained cultural reality I call Midwest Frumpy. You see it all over the upper Midwest; obesity, bland clothing, teddy-bear sweatshirts, waddling, haircuts that are so bad they didn't ever go out of style since they were never in. Each area or state has its own variation of frumpy. You're more likely to see teddy-bear sweatshirts in Minnesota and more likely to see poodle bangs in Wisconsin.

I witnessed Wisconsin Frumpy in full force at Lambeau Field on Friday night. Women who looked like their 4th grade pictures with wrinkles, men who still have their 1991 Sterling Sharpe jerseys, and obese androgyny with mullets were all the, uh, fashion. I use "fashion" loosely. I told my brother-in-law that Lambeau Field doesn't seat the most, but it sure weighs the most. Give these people beer and a Packer game, they're actually quite amiable. Leave the politics out, though.

I didn't notice Wisconsin Frumpy as much at the Camp Randall re dedication. People seemed thinner, slightly more stylish, and more energetic. The field was open to all and people were throwing footballs and running around. They even had the First Brigade Civil War Band from Waterloo. No beer was to be found. Maybe that's why people were thinner on average.

I know Madison likes to think of itself as more cultured (read uppity) than the rest of the state, but the fact remains it IS part of Wisconsin. You can see rednecks flying around in their rusted 1987 Chevy Blazers with no exhaust, frumpy people at the malls, teddy-bear sweatshirt gals on State Street, and Miller Beer everywhere. The west-siders like to think they're cultured, but for them is Concerts on the Square where they eat $5.99 cheese and drink three-steps-higher-than-Mad-Dog wine is almost as good as Royal Albert Hall. It's more delusional than Miller claiming High Life is the Champaign of Beers. At least High Life is close in color.