Burn Out and Other Musings

I have to say I'm emotionally and physically drained. I'm not sure why this happens to me from time to time. It's definitely not your garden-variety tiredness. It's a deep down exhaustion. Someone is buried beneath the surface and I can't figure out what it is. Maybe there's ten thousand different pieces down there. Fuck it, I don't want to talk about it.

On a brighter note, I couldn't fit a second hard drive into my computer so I need to put the larger on in and install Windows. I wish it was a Mac, because it would be easy. Install, the dumb thing installed it on the wrong partition. Fuck it, I want to talk about something else.

And the next topic is: I'm done writing.

Life

It's been an unusual week. I missed most of work in short week, due to an ear infection. In a way, the respite from work was good, but also bad. I have a lot to do, some of which I brought home, and with everything going on, I need to be there.

Another strange part was two wakes and a funeral. My Aunt Helen died late Wednesday night, early Thursday morning. She had lung cancer and only knew about it for, I think, under six months. My uncle and she had been married for forty-five years and were the type of couple to do almost everything together. I'm sure my uncle will rebound well, but he'll still hurt for a while. He asked me to be a pallbearer, which I'm honored to be. Also, I went to a wake on Friday of a father of a man I work with. Loosing a father cannot be easy under any circumstances.

All this made me think of my parents. I was over at their house on Thursday. My mother has been having some health problems, but none are too serious and can be corrected. It's thrown her for a loop, though, since she's never really had any before. She's 61, almost 62, now and for both her and my father, the reality of old age is sinking in. My father said he never game much thought to any age milestone, but 60 made him think.

I'm realizing that I need to start making my way from being cared for by my parents to caring for them. They really don't need any help and won't for a while, but it's more of a change in mindset than anything. It's kind of a strange thought to have after 30 years of being the kid. My mother said she’d definitely live long enough to see me get married. I said she might be 103 before that happens. That's ok with her as long as I don't get married on a mountaintop. She doesn't think she can make it up there at 103. We'll see.

Post #79

This must by my 12th or 13th Post #79. That counter has been stuck forever. So be it.

I'm sick with a sore throat and a mild earache. Both were much worse yesterday, and I only mustered a couple of hours at work today. I could have done a full day if absolutely necessary, but the two-hour nap helped immensely. This isn't the best week to get sick, since it's only three working days and I have plenty to do. At least my time at work on Friday will be rather quiet.

On a brighter note, I visited friends in Minnesota. We spent all of Saturday on our asses watching bad movies (ok, one was good) and talking. It's been far to long since I did that and I think all of us preferred that to tooling around the Cities. I saw my friends' newborn daughter, which was great, plus other friends' two kids. They also gave me a sip of highly rated vodka, which is made in Minnesota of all places. Well, Minnesota is cold and settled predominately by Scandinavians, so I guess it isn't too strange. Anyway, it was a relaxing weekend.

Since I'm watching "Clash of the Titans" (Perseus is going after Medussa with two scrubs), I've found and done these:


Athena goddess of wisdom and war. You are smart but
sometimes not too smart when you take on too
many tasks. Narrow them down to things you can
do now and can't...or not...


What Greek god or goddess are you like?
brought to you by Quizilla

My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, What Greek god are you?, is Demeter

Relief and Surpirse

I took my GMAT last night. I was aiming for the six hundreds, but kind of expected to be in the mid to high five hundreds. I ended up with 680 which is right at the 90th percentile. I'm not sure if I'm smart or most people who take it are a bit doltish. Maybe it's a bit of both. My score isn't quite up to Yale's standard, but maybe I could swing it and be as accomplished
as this prez.

Now that it is out of the way, I can finish my application essay, submit the whole application, and wind down here at the end of January. First is good ol' Nort'feeld, don'tcha know.

Strange Music

One of the benefits of online radio (misnomer, I'd say) is the fringe stuff you can find. One such station is Cheese Wizard's Eclect. You need a paid pass to Live365 to hear it, but this is what you'd get:

"Satisfaction" by Phylis Diller
"Light My Fire" by Mae West
"Another Brick in the Wall Pt 2" by Tiny Tim
"I'm the Mighty Steve Hawking" by MC Hawking from "A Brief History of Rhyme"
"You Can Call Me Kompressor" (not Al) by Kompressor

... and those are just songs and/or people that you've heard of.

Malaise

For some reason, I have a great feeling of discontent. I definitely felt it when I woke up this morning and it did seem that today was one to spend in bed. As usual, I have a ton of work and couldn’t afford to. Plus next week is a short one. I still have no idea where this discontent really comes from. Maybe this.