(drumming fingers)

So not much is going on at work, I'm bored, and no one is here. I'm heading out a little early so I can dump off some old computing stuff at the recycling place. Until then, I'm just waiting to leave so I can crack open some Swiss absinthe tonight.

Such simple pleasures.

Hybrids

I was walking across a parking lot when I saw some animals hunched over some mound. I yelled at them and continued to my apartment. The apartment had a glass door entry. When I got inside, I noticed one of the animals had followed me because it was pissed that I yelled at it. The top half of it was a deer and the bottom half was a kangaroo. It started punching the door to get in. Then it rested on it's tail and started kicking the door. It gave up but the other one came over. It had much larger antlers. It figured out that it needed to pull down on the handle which was about chest high on me. I grabbed the rail and kept pushing the door shut. After about two minutes of this it got in....

The next part had me coming home to the apartment (the last guy was now someone else). I found the pummled remains of that guy and freaked out. When Shaun came home, I showed them to him and he shrugged his shoulders and moved on.

Another dream: I was in a dorm room with a table in it prepared for a meal. Shaun, me and two girls were there. Then some guy came in. I was looking for him since he killed someone I cared about. I grabbed the knife he used to kill that person and went after him. I called out for Shaun to help me and when I looked over at him, he was in a yellow poncho. He raised his arms and proclaimed "I am the Klu Klux Klown".

Thanks for the help, dipshit.

Bette White

I was in a kitchen/dining room of a house with Michael, Shari, and Sophie. Sophie was probably six months old. Michael informed me that Bette White is the richest person in the world because she copywrited "the", " " (space), and "-". Then I discovered that she had a mansion with a huge underground area, probably millions of square feet. I think she was launching something into space or controlling the world or something.

Never trust a Golden Girl!

Miserable Failure

I know I'd say I'd blog more. I haven't done so well on that pledge. Here are some topics that I was going to blog about, but never did:

Trip to Milwaukee, taking in mojitos and "She's the Man"
Resolve to start running again (sucessful!)
Life with Steve
Watching tv series like a junky
Amazon Women at the Cardinal
When friends do dumb things
Lazing on a Sunday afternoon.

You'll see nothing more of these topics, as I don't feel like writing. Just fill in the blanks by yourself. I call it motivational blogging!

Video Game Madness

I was playing some Street Fighter type video game with Shaun and kicking ass. I was beating up on weaklings and when I came to some one kind of tough, my character said "Uh-oh". I ripped a tire off a truck and rolled it at the guy. Then I started whipping him. Shaun kept yelling "Use the left jab". I almost lost, but gave the controller to Shaun. He showed my how to hold down the shift button and do a left jab.

I also had a "Scanner Darkly" type dream where I was a junky that kept changing identities unwillingly. Can't remember more than that.

Mmmm..... porn.....

So I like to copy other people and today's lucky contestant is Melissa. She has a post showing her porn name in, uh, porn people. Seems more like artsy, sexual types, but hey, porn can be artsy. I think Melissa is suggesting something by using the term "porny". Dreams of childhood obsessions with riding school? You know that's how Catherine the Great died...

Anyway, here's my blog name. I think it turned out well.

Michael

As most of you have already noticed, I made Michael's avatar. At the moment, he's to the side. If you're somebody that I just met (a hot woman maybe!) and are searching through my old posts OR if I'm searching my old posts in a bout of "Who Am I?" confusion, the avatar has probably changed. So look at it here:



So there's Mike in two things he doesn't like: formal wear and discos. I put a monkey by him. Funny, we were talking about monkeys that help blind people, yet some of the monkeys undoubtably fail training. We were talking on how we'd like to have those monkeys. You know "Albert, get me a beer" or "Colin, go get the baby. She's walking in the middle of the street". Stuff like that.

Damn Spammers

So I took off my word verification for comments since I thought that the spammers went away. I was wrong. I wish they would fuck off. My penis is fine as it is, damnit!

Jo-Na

So all I could do was copy Jo-Na's avatars. I did give them a pajama party at Funland, though.

Picture Share

Found this picture. I think that a little after this picture was taken, I went outside and put my bare ass cheeks up against the glass in the background. I don't exactly remember, since I was drunk.

Shari's Avatar

Yes Shari, this is your Avatar in your 3E Dupre dorm room. You're pissed because Bowman is hanging out in the hall wearing only his bathing towel. Also, Ernie is bouncing his basketball in the room upstairs. And I ate too much of your cookie dough. Yes, that is Rufus. He escaped his destructo ball two weeks ago and is a bit emaciated, as I ate most of your cookie dough.

Bad Teeth and Poor Musicianship

I had one of those common dreams (for me) that I was browsing the clearance racks of some big Farm & Fleet store. I only found fake Christmas wreaths and old Star Wars figures.

The only other part I remember well enough to write about was the Sex Pistols were playing a gig in New York in '78 and Johnny Rotten had even worse teeth and Sid Vicious played an even worse bass guitar.

EEG = OK

So my EEG came back clear. I think all that's left is that I'm a nervous, twitchy bastard. Hmmm....

Creepy Tulip Man

I'm listening to "Tip-Toe Thru' The Tulips With Me" by Tiny Tim. It's quite creepy, in the Lollipop Guild-sort of way.

Ethnicity

Melissa has a post on her natio... uh, ethnicity on her blog. I decided to analyze myself and my loyal readers:



As you can see, I'm dominated by the 1/8th Slovenian (or is it Bohemian) that I am. My maternal grandmother (from whom I get the Slovenian or Bohemian) said that I have a drop of Asian blood in me because of the Mongol invasion. That must be where the Chinese/South East Asian comes from. Please ignore the English/Norwegian/German in my blood. The wise face analyzer has.

Those of you who know me well will not be shocked by the revelation that I am a socialable, risk-taking, cheat who is very rude. Also, I look like Brad Pitt. I know that is supposed to be desirable, but there was this kid I went to school with, K-12, who looked like Brad Pitt, and he was a whiney, little shit. Plus, I'm not that blank.



Next up is Dave. I love his story about his ancestor that rode an elephant to the docks and emigrated to LA. I do believe "Ahrens" is Hindi for "Beer-drinking goaltender". Note he posses many traits, but he is NOT gay! I'm sure he takes comfort in resembling Mumbai-native David Letterman.



Shari resembles George W Bush. That is fitting, because her gay factor is low and her income is high. Very republican. And don't forget those fair-skinned southern Europeans! She fits the mold oh-so-well! I'm glad to see that Face Analyzer has registered the 90%+ Anglo blood.



Mike is smart and rich. He will step all over his mother for gain and is definitely not gay. He is also eastern European. Evidently, Kublai Khan's army had more fun with his ancestors as his Chinese blood is thicker than mine. He also looks like a guy who votes Republican, so the GOP is a slam dunk in the Setchell/Kirby household.



As you can see from the picture and stats, Ãsa is a pleasant, polite girl who does not take risks and is not gay. She happens to look like the dumbest guy in Hollywood, but her brains are ok. I didn't know the Mongols made it up to Norway. I'll be damned.

After looking at everyone, I decided to investigate the Korean claim on Melissa.



Sorry, you're a heterosexual Korean. You also resemble Adam Sandler. I thought you looked Jewish! Also, you're very rich:

I could use a sugar mama....

Cocaine and Mazes

Last nights had Bo and Luke Duke selling cocaine and gerbil/hamster/rat things running mazes until the evil management at the grocery store changed the maze and trapped my germster rat.

Tiny Tim

I don't remember much, but Tiny Tim was the head of Alice Cooper's band and they lived in the north woods of Wisconsin.

I'm In Sun Prairie

I'm in downtown Sun Prairie, which has gone a little more upscale. I don't remember much except that my old roommate Brent was there. I went back with him to where he lived. It was an old coach house behind an old brick home. He had a bed in the bathroom and a computer monitor hooked up to some contraption that was mainly wound copper. Still, it produced a screen. Somehow I had destroyed his old computer.

Another part of the dream was driving on Hwy 151 in a company van. Traffic was stopped and since I had a hard time controlling my feet, I almost hit the car in front of me. I swerved over onto the shoulder. Turns out some guy in a wrecking truck was trying to get something out of a crater in the road with the ball.

Melissa

So I skipped down a little bit, since Michael and Shari have avatars already. I will do them soon, though.

Anyway, here's Melissa. She was in China last fall, so there's a panda. I can't imagine her in heels, but those came with the pants. Unfortunately, I cannot get red highlights.

Åsa

I'm a little restless today. Here's Åsa. I couldn't find a good match for the face, so this will have to do. I don't care much for the boots, but did put in Albert.

Avatars!

So I decided to make avatars out of everyone on my blogroll. Let's start with Dave: