Bo Knows Hockey

So a co-worker came into my office this morning as I have the communal mini fridge. It went like this:

Me: The Red Wings won last night. I'm not happy about that.

Her: Who are they?

Me: The Red Wings? You don't know who they are?

Her: No, who are they?

Me: The Red Wings?

Her: Haha!

Me: The Detroit Red Wings?

Her: Oh! I don't follow baseball.

Me: Leave.

Vision

What some people can see is a great thing.  Even better when they share it:

Muddling of the Titans

I caught the new "Clash of the Titans" film this weekend.  What a turd.  Here's what I liked and didn't.

What I Liked

Io:  Perseus had a fairy godmother of sorts.  She was cursed with agelessness when she refused the advances of a god. I guess she was kind of like Bubo, but a lot hotter.  She added a little bit of depth to a thin movie.  Being a turd, the movie didn't reveal who sent her, so I'm guessing Zeus.

Mads Mikkelsen:  He played the leader of the guards that set out with Perseus to find Medusa.  His character was one-dimensional by the script, but Mikkelsen was able to convey a jaded, yet dedicated soldier looking for something worth fighting for.

Medusa:  They made Medusa more menacing than in the original.  She was a woman twice wronged who took her frustration out on everyone.  She would giggle to taunt and her face was her birth one until she turned a man to stone.  The only thing I didn't like is that she went after Perseus like a woman possessed.  She's a stone cold killer, so that didn't work.

What I Wanted to Like, but Didn't

Polly Walker:  Polly Walker proved in Rome that beauty is more how you carry yourself than looking picture-perfect.  I admit it, I have a boner for her.  Unfortunately, she didn't have anything to work with.  If you took Junior to the bathroom near the beginning of the film, you would have missed her whole  performance.  Mikkelsen at least had a few scenes, but Walker was allowed to pontificate on man not needing gods for about 20 seconds before Hades turned her into an old woman.

The Special Effects:  I did like the looks of most of the special effects.  They didn't kill everything like in Star Wars or look a Happy Painter painting like Lord of the Rings.  Still, Ray Harryhausen's effects had a bit more elegance to them.

What I Hated

 Where to start?

Sam Worthington: How he gets all of these rolls is beyond me.  The guy makes Kate Beckinsale seem like Judy Garland.  He went through the movie with a "Kick Me" sign on his back and his costars seemed to be laughing at him, but the "Deus ex Machina" of the script made everyone help him anyway.  Parsley is more compelling than this guy.

Revenge Instead of Love:  Perseus's family gets killed by Hades for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  His motivation is thus revenge versus love.  Not very true to Greek Mythology and a much less compelling reason to cheer for Robo-Douche as he fumbles around.

Argos:  Ok, so I'm being OCD here, but how does a city survive surrounded by unscalable mountains and a small harbor?  Not one inch of arable land.

Hippie Jesus Freak:  The movie had an anti-religion edge, which was fine by me, but to express it the director created a tripping (from organic mushrooms no doubt) hippie with rat-nest hair.  He warned all of the townsfolk to pray to the gods for forgiveness and drug Andromeda onto the platform to be sacrificed to the Kraken.  Nope, no dignity in her sacrifice.  I think I've seen this guy on Willy Street.

The Ending:  When Perseus finally arrives on Pegasus to turn the Kraken to stone, I met it with a yawn.  Ok, creature dead, douchebag is a reluctant hero (versus heroism as its own goal in mythology) who doesn't even get Andromeda.

The Very Ending:  So to make sure everyone knows that Perseus is, um, straight, Zeus revives Io for him to enjoy.  And give the prospect of a sequel.

Say what you will about Steven Sommers, but he has a bit of joy in his junk.

War is Death

This is just the stuff we see.

Busking in Paris

I was riding in the back of a transport truck through Paris after it was liberated in WWII.  I pointed out to the people in the truck that all these buildings were rigged to explode, but the Germans never destroyed them.  I noticed that some of the buildings had their facades blown off.

Then I was by a bridge.  The bridge went over a courtyard below to a romantic style building.  I was busking with some guy on drums and a woman on bass.  I played the guitar and was trying to get a harder sound from everyone.  I wanted to be the a pioneer in rock and roll, about ten  years early.

I was in the same courtyard, but it had a large dirigible in the middle and buildings built into the walls.  All of this was for people about 1/10 the size of me.  Then Superman and Batman were defending it against aliens.  The aliens made all these plants grow.  The rest is fuzzy.  Then I was walking along some catwalks in a bombed out building.  I was still trying to be a  pioneer in rock and roll.  Part of the building was a school hallway with lockers.  I was mad that the record labels were not happy with my sound so I decided to start my own label.

Then the building was part marsh and I was walking through it.  There were two skeletons about 12" high playing some tune.  I knew them when they worked at a grocery store so I walked up and talked to them.

Hail Wisconsin!

For we have our priorities in order!

I Would Like Valentines Day...

.... if it was like #3.  In a fun way, not a mean way:



14 Miserable Facts About St Valentine’s Day

1. In the two week period leading up to Valentine’s Day, American sales of gold jewelry lead to 34 million metric tons of waste.

2. The vast majority of roses sold for Valentine’s Day in the U.S. are imported from South America, wasting fossil fuels.

3. Valentine’s Day traces its roots to an ancient pagan holiday called Lupercalia, in which men stripped naked, grabbed whips, and spanked young women in hopes of increasing their fertility.

4. The Christian martyr St. Valentine was beheaded on February 14 for performing marriages in secret.

5. Research suggests that 75 percent of suicide attempts are attributable to relationship problems.

6. 46 percent of Americans will exchange Valentine’s Day candy.

7. 67 percent of Americans are overweight or obese.

8. The first Valentine’s Day card was sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. He remained a prisoner of war for the next twenty-four years.

9. A recent poll found that one in ten young adults admitted to feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or unwanted on Valentine’s Day. And that’s just the ones that admitted it.

10. Forty percent of people have negative feelings towards Valentine’s Day.

11. The famous St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, in which seven Chicago gangsters were gunned down on February 14, 1929, was one of the bloodiest in mob history (pictured above).

12. 64 percent of American men do not make Valentine’s Day plans in advance.

13. Candy hearts taste like crap.

14. Even if you’re really, really in love right now, you’re still going to die eventually.