Inept Plot Device Characters

I was thinking about this abysmal movie, Mercury Rising, and it made me think how stupid movie assassins really are. I’ll try to remember the movie best I can, but it has been five years. This assassin comes into this house to kill this kid. I won’t go into why. Mom and dad are around and they end up getting killed. This is stupid for two reasons:

1. Why can’t dad, or even mom, get a good swipe in on the bad guy. I know they’re useless except as a plot device, but wouldn’t it be cool if dad was working in the garage and managed to gouge an eye out of the bad guy? At least one of them could get a swing in.

2. The assassin creeps into the house (the door’s unlocked) and finds mom and dad and kills them with a gun with a silencer. Why does he creep into the house? Creeping takes time and he’s more likely to be found by roaming mom or roaming dad. If he just walked in like normal, mom and dad wouldn’t have time to react; they’re too busy reading the Evening Standard or watching Wheel of Fortune. Mom would say “Harold, who the hell is here?” and dad would say, “I don’t know, I’ll go check it out.” By that time, the assassin could walk into the parlor and *fwp* *fwp*, mom and dad have stained their favorite recliners red.

Anyway, movie assassins are worthless.