With the fair winds of spring, the red-winged black bird has returned. That damn thing shows up EVERY Spring and bleats out his one-note repertoire over and over and over and over at my windows and the entry windows. Then it shits everywhere. Maybe his little song pisses him off, too, so he shits at the same time. I don't know. At first he flew away when we taped pictures of owls and falcons to the window. He wised up to that. Then I bought a Hootie Owl and hung him up. That didn't do it, either, and now Hootie is gathering dust on top of my shelves.
I'm conflicted as to whether this bird is really smart or extraordinarily stupid. On one hand, paper or plastic animals do not dupe him nor has another beast gobbled him up. Then again, he repeatedly chirps at his own reflection, day in/day out/ year in/year out. I'm a kind and gentle person by nature, but I think I'll ask my brother-in-law to point a shotgun at the thing and scatter his body to the winds.
You know, I need to name this thing. Any suggestions of names that signify annoyance? I will not accept Pat or Henry.
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Time to get nostalgic about a movie I saw eighteen years ago and was about a time seventeen years earlier. My college roommates can verify...
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After the post below and after finding Dave's post, I created my South Park persona after a bike ride. I think it's fitting.
W?
ReplyDeleteYou could call him Splat. But I really don't think you should let Wayne blow him away. It's not his fault he's a moron. What is this, Texas?
ReplyDeleteIt's the Wisconsin Free State and birds that chirp three feet away from my head 30 times a day get splatted.
ReplyDeleteAnd W is good, but I work with mostly republicans. That name wouldn't stick.